By Bayo Ogunmupe
Since being defrauded twice over my efforts to build a website and
sundry activities, I have assembled a list of the character traits of
fraudsters. And absolutely, I don't tolerate any of these traits for any
reason. The moment I spot any of these traits, I immediately start
playing my cards defensibly- making it a point to keep such a person
far, far away from whatever I do. One, People who ask for something
before first offering to help you in some way. Every great connection I
have had in business and career has manifested away from this way of
being. Once a person is asking for remuneration without work, steer
clear of him. There isn't a single person from my network of helpers who
doesn't operate from my philosophy of offering work first before
remuneration.
In fact I wrote for The Guardian for more than a year before being paid
for my columns. The joy is in seeing my name in print, not the money
accruing from it. The second character trait of fraudsters is that, they
don't always give you the full story. They won't give you the accurate
particulars of their background or the extent of their skills. If you
listen closely, which you must, you can tell when a person is
purposefully withholding details of certain situations. And if you watch
long enough, you will start to realize why: they have things they want
to hide. These aren't the people you want to trust.
Three, people who steal; I once had a great friend at Ijegun,a suburb
of Lagos. I thought he adored me for my creative problem solving
proclivities. Until I paid him a surprise visit one evening only to find
my long missing stapler, books and a mouse of my desktop computer. He
had been hindering me rather than being a loyal and faithful friend. I
even saw more. I immediately cut off the relationship. No questions
asked. As a writer, there are few things in life more infuriating than
seeing someone put their name on your work.
Four: People who get jealous of your success. As you continue to grow,
especially if you begin to achieve fame and recognition, you will start
to see the true colour of those you hang out with. In each chapter of my
life, I have made and lost friends. The ones I have lost, suddenly felt
threatened by the things I was achieving, no matter how much I
encouraged by my generosity. A foe argued himself hoarse over the
veracity of my being a published author. It was not until I showed him a
copy and googled it through an ipad that he believed. He never showed
up again at our usual cafe. The friends that I have kept and there are
many of them; are those who are happy with the trail blazing lifestyle
we are pursuing.
A few weeks ago, I got a call from a reader of my blog in Italy. He is
teaching economics there and was seeking a clarification over Nigeria's
economic and growth plan. I obliged him with the information he asked
for. He is happy that we're able to be of service to Nigerians in the
diaspora. That is a real friend. Finally, people who blame others for
their lack of success or happiness belong to that class of people likely
to hinder you in life. They hate successful people around them. If
there is one thing I pay attention to in others, it is how they talk
about their lives. That their current situation is the result of someone
else, that is a red flag. If they blame other people for their
shortcomings, that's a red flag.
If they struggle to admit their own faults that's a red flag. These
people are leeches. The happier you become the more they prey on you.
The more successful you become, the more jealous they will feel. They
live in a constant state of playing victim. Life is happening to them
and there is nothing they can do about it; which makes it the fault of
others. I have learned the hard way not to allow these kinds of people
into my life. You should do the same, you should avoid them like the
plague. But once you know what to look for, it becomes apparent who is
worth your time and who isn't. Never allow fraudsters infect you with
their belief in destiny. The truth is that anyone can make it in life.
That's why God granted you free will.
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