Imitate The Thinking Habits Of Winners
BY BAYO OGUNMUPE
IN order for you to be successful, you have to accept certain beliefs. These beliefs will guide you particularly when bad things happen. Someone hates your writing, your product or business, then applying these truths will set you on the path of rectitude. One, everyone is always offended by your ambition for greatness. We are all set in our ways. As we tout how open minded we are, we have little nitpicks about everyone else. This should not stop you from your ambition. But this should not come to you as a surprise when someone tells you how offended he is by your optimism.
Two, someone being offended means they took notice. They noticed your posturing, paid attention and consumed your message. Surely, they are expressing their offence to you; but now you are wasting even more of their time because they are telling you how much they hated it. Life continues, the planet keeps spinning and no one but you will be the wiser that someone was offended.
Three, not being noticed is universal. If no one hates you it means no one is paying attention. Every person that you are now paying attention to, was at some point in their lives, in your exact position. They kept at it and worked hard enough so that others started listening. If no one notices you yet, you can experience true freedom, then dance in your underwear, write entirely for yourself, be weird. Four, you will certainly be judged. It is fear that makes you afraid of what others will think. It isn’t a question of whether others will judge you. Definitely they will judge you. People are naturally judgy and that judgement is scary. While we all care about what others have to say about us, it becomes dangerous when we value their opinions more than our own. Never value the opinions of others above your own. Just accept another’s opinion as his worldview, a reflection of his own experience within his class, race and his ideology. By ideology here we mean the upbringing and religious views of the person.
Five, there is a difference between respect and judgment. Being judged and being respected are not the same thing. People can think you are an awful person and still hold you in high regard. Conversely, if someone judges you as a nice person, it doesn’t mean they respect you. People walk over all nice and decent people all the time. However, people don’t walk over all people they respect.
Six, self respect leads to universal respect. If you respect yourself proudly, chances are that others will follow. If even others don’t follow, you have got yourself a nice big bowl of self respect which others cannot take from you. Seven, entitlement and self respect are different. Self respect means you know your worth and its boundaries. It is honour and dignity that makes you what you are. Entitlement means you think you deserve something. Basically, you deserve your own self respect: to be treated decently by others. Anything past that, you have got to work for it. Even then, if it doesn’t work out that way, that is just the way the card falls sometimes.
Eight, you don’t need those who don’t respect you. The good about people not respecting you is that unless they are actually causing you a sort of harm, you ignore them completely. They will never support your work or make you better as a human being. So, drop them as quickly and silently as possible. They are dead weights, they cannot upset your victory. Nine, people who respect and value you are royalty. They are the most important people to you on this planet. These are the ones who not only pay you attention, but are interested. Treat them like royalty; because to you, they should be your bigwigs. Be generous to them by making sure they know how much you value them.
Ten, be confident at all times. You don’t need to be loud to be confident. Sometimes, the most confident person in the room is the quietest. Confident people know what they know and don’t need to share it to build confidence, their confidence comes from within. They share the knowledge which gives them confidence when they are asked. And they also share it in a way that enhances their personality. Eleven, giving a damn is another word for worry. If you give a damn about everything, you will soon run out of damns and live in a state of worry. Soon, worry will spread you thin with insignificant people keeping you in stress.
Twelve, but when you truly care, it is okay to worry about others. Not caring about anything keeps you cynical and jaded. You must have a handful of people you really care about. Thirteen, not giving a damn is the opposite of apathy. Apathy is the indifference you feel when something doesn’t matter to you. Not giving a damn means you have stopped worrying about a matter that is inconsequential. Not giving a damn is a show of willpower. Fourteen, be foolish and stupid very often. Experts say leaders cannot account for what specifically worked in creating their success. But they aver, no man will make a great leader who wants to do it all by himself and take all the credit for doing it. Leaders are more concerned about the consequences rather than what will others think.
Fifteen, use your uniqueness to advantage. The only way to stand out is to be your real, weird self. Otherwise you become an unperson. No one that you admire got to power by being like everyone else. Sixteen, don’t let anyone set your boundaries. If anyone told you, don’t do that, question him. Assume he is talking out his own experience until you have proven otherwise yourself. People may be well-meaning but their ideas and biases may cloud their judgment. Never let someone else draw you a line. Never follow another person blindly. Be clear of who you are and who you are not. Honesty is easier than imitation. Seventeen, you don’t need to tell anyone of your honesty, just be honest. The Bhagavad Gita states you are only entitled to the work, not to the fruits of the work. So, don’t do anything because of the gain from it. Do whatever you wish because you really want to do it. Pay attention to whatever you are doing at the moment. This is the way of winners. It is impossible to guarantee success unless you work on your project for love rather than because you expect some gain from it, particularly the expectation of immediate gain. That way, regardless of the consequences, you would have accomplished what you set out to do.