Wednesday 21 November 2018

“Reddlemen”, we must now become



Deciding what topic to comment on in Nigeria these days is proving to be less and less of an effortless undertaking, what with the breathtaking spate of egregious discoveries within the leadership class, and the brazen indifference of the ranking members of that class to those discoveries. I dare say that it is inconceivable to think up a more damning script for Project Nigeria than the intensifying “You be thief! I no be thief!” drama among our elected leaders – see my piece in The Guardian of 6th April, 2018.
I had once remarked to a colleague that contemporary Nigeria is likened to a military parade wherein a clumsy ill-trained recruit tragically assumed (read usurped) the drum-major’s position. That of course was not a novel commentary on the Nigerian state. Parallels to my expressed view could be obtained without exertion; famous among these was the late Pius Okigbo’s scathing line in his 1992 University of Lagos 30th Anniversary Lecture: Crisis in the Temple. In his clinical analysis of the sources of decay in Nigeria’s tertiary institutions, the renowned economist pointed out that successive investigation panels on the administration of Nigerian universities had observed that most lecturers notoriously fail to update the currency of their qualifications. Typical of him, he then went on to conjure up the hazardous graphics of drivers with expired licences. Academic qualifications, the anniversary lecturer had asserted, like driving licences, are meant to be renewed periodically. In his immortal words, “If Faculty members lack the discipline to diligently revalidate the currency of their intellectual contents, these are automatically deemed incapable of learning… Now, would any one be taken aback that our temple of learning is in crisis, when those who are notoriously incapable of learning have taken to teaching therein?”
The unfortunate situation depicted by the great Anambra state born intellectual aptly mirrors the situation in all other sectors of the Nigerian state. And, as the yet unfurling leadership crisis reveals, that ugly situation is rendered ugliest by Nigeria’s primitive political culture, which permits of semi-illiterates and ill-bred persons rising to the pinnacle of power. Imagine the absurdity of notoriously corrupt officials of one political party vociferously calling for the arrest and prosecution of their fellow notoriously corrupt officials in another party??? (The kettle calling the pot black is apparently the new normal in Nigeria) Therefore, we now can safely say that discounting the few, not unlike the late Aminu Kano; MKO Abiola; Alex Ekwueme, etc, who were unquestionably accomplished prior to seeking political office, a greater part of Nigerian politicians are mindless gold-diggers who spare little or no thoughts for the ordinary people whom they swear under oath to conscientiously serve. Much to our collective discomfiture, these questionable characters have now leveraged themselves into vantage positions in Nigeria’s political space with ill-gotten wealth. Simply put, ill-bred persons now predominantly decide the composition of Nigeria’s leadership. This scenario clearly is a state of national emergency calling for massive citizens’ action. If Nigeria were to keep her glorious appointment with destiny, her committed patriots, be they men or women, party members or not, young or old, religious or not, able-bodied or physically challenged, professionals and non-professionals, must now cultivate the spirit of the “reddlemen”, a leading character in one of Thomas Hardy’s classic novels, “The return of the native”.
Hardy’s reddleman could pass as a benevolent masquerade in our setting, because he was not only something of a guardian spirit committed to sniffing out evil plots and persons in his 19th Century Wessex, England, but would go the entire hug to ensure that the ultimate aim of those evil plots came to naught. Instructively, he did all of these entirely at the expense of his personal resources and risks to his safety. Diggory Venn was the man literally behind the reddleman’s mask. In pre-industrial England, a reddleman was a person whose vocation it was to supply farmers with redding for their sheep. On account of their ware, reddlemen were usually red from the crown of their head to their feet – thus disguising their natural features. Being itinerant, reddlemen have privilege knowledge of their communities. Citizen Diggory Venn had patriotically put that advantage to the peace, unity and progress of his Wessex homestead. The climax of these instances was when his priceless intelligence gathering culminated in averting the potential elopement of Mr. Damon Wildeve and Mrs. Eustacia Yeobright. 
Damon and Eustacia had been lovers; but Damon’s unfaithfulness caused Eustacia to harbour second thoughts about the relationship. During Christmas, Clement Yeobright, a glamourous native of Wessex who had made good in Paris in the world of finance, returned. Eustacia, the local beauty who ceaselessly dreamed of living out her life in a more glamourous setting than rural Wessex, was inexorably taken in by the returnee’s reputation. Ever the resourceful coming lady, she caused her path to cross with the illustrious returnee’s. Against both families’ misgivings Clement and Eustacia struck up a relationship that made a bee-line for marriage. Eustacia’s estranged lover, Damon, acting with an eye to spiting his former heartthrob, married his casual lover, Thomasin on the rebound. But he no sooner learned of the unending torments of burying one’s love before its death. Eustacia was still much the love of his life. He desperately, albeit furtively, wanted her back.
Meanwhile, Eustacia, to her disappointment, was similarly circumstanced. She had cleverly schemed to marry Yeobright in the hope that he would return to Paris after his short visit to Wessex. Was she utterly mistaken! The accomplished economist had returned to give back to his fledgling community. Clement had come back to stay! Eustacia consequently starting toying with unholy ideas about the young marriage, much like a kitten sports dove. Under such a heavily misty atmosphere, Mr. Damon Wildeve and Mrs. Eustacia Yeobright were able to contrive a most secretive elopement plot. But for the legendary selfless intelligence gathering exploits of the reddleman, most of which were undertaken in the dead of the night and in inclement weather, that evil plot could well have been pulled off, much to the heartbreak of many a Wessex citizen.
Damon and Eustacia died in the misadventure. But it was a happy ending for the reddleman as he earned bounteous returns on his huge investments in sustained selfless community service. He was the residual legatee of Wessex with his marriage to Wildeve’s widow who recently came into her rich inheritance. The tale is as engaging as its moral is compelling. The latest shocking revelations in our own land ought to jolt us into massive citizens’ action to exorcise the political class of the ill-bred characters among its ranks. We must now become reddlemen. Needless to say that I am one already; that is the reason I persist in speaking poignant truths to power, in spite of explicit death threats to my person by government agents. Needless also, to state that the spirit is slowly but surely finding a foothold in our much abused country, Nigeria. It is interesting to observe that a number of recent group-protests against the harsh realities in the country readily adopt the reddleman’s colour code: deep red. One of these has even produced symbolic blood-red cards to express the mood in which its members would approach the 2019 general elections. I couldn’t agree more; ordinary Nigerians have endured red-eyes for decades due to a succession of grossly incompetent leaderships, it’s time red-cards substituted the weary red-eyes!   
Reddlemen, therefore, we must now become to reset Nigeria on the course of true greatness; so help us God.

Afam Nkemdiche; consulting engineer. November, 2018                                          

THE DEVIL’S RECTANGLE 2 “No man is good enough to govern another man without that other’s consent.” – Abraham Lincoln. “Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people.” Proverbs 14:34.

In Marxist philosophy, the bourgeoisie is the social class that came to own the means of production during modern industrialization and whose societal concerns are the value of property and the preservation of capital to ensure the perpetuation of their economic supremacy in society. Joseph Schumpeter saw the creation of the bourgeoisie as the driving force behind the capitalist engine, particularly entrepreneurs who took risks to bring innovation to industries and the economy through the process of creative destruction.
Today, in our clime and most African countries that social order is dominated by a new bourgeoisie, made up of political leaders and not captains of industry. They are rent-collectors who make huge profits without investments; they have no factories and are neither entrepreneurs nor employers of labour but they own huge amount of money but they are not investors or creators of wealth; they live a life of opulence like royalty but they are not royalty; they bestride our narrow world like colossi, master of all they see. Impervious to the suffering and tribulations of the people they are supposed to serve, they are as callous as the proverbial ‘agbalowo meri, Bale Jontolo’. 
Not content with living in the old Government Reservations, our politicopreneurshave opted to build mansions on hilltops, like the ubiquitous Colonial District Officers, far removed from their people. Perhaps like Jomo Kenyatta wrote in Facing Mount Kenya, there they ‘commune with the gods’. These are our leaders! Much has been written about them.
Vexed by their shenanigans Obi Ezekwesili said: “Our political leaders have turned democracy into a criminal enterprise breaking all the principles of representative government. They have not illuminated or advanced Nigeria. Under their watch, Nigeria has become the epicentre of human greed, avarice, official impunity and duplicity. Success is now measured in what you could corner for yourself, no matter how many children were left starving to death. That is why the country is littered with policy hoaxes and uncompleted projects and programmes, including a $16bn electricity scam; misappropriation of foreign aid for the betterment of heath care; such as HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria; most of which disappeared into the quicksand of ramshackle governance in Abuja championed by the former administration; another donation of  $660m made recently  will likely to go the same way”. 
In a paper: THE CHALLENGES OF LEADERSHIP AND GOVERNANCE IN NIGERIA, Godwin Okaneme submitted: “From the time of the nation’s independence up till now, it has seriously grappled with the challenges of poor leadership and governance or what has been popularly referred to as leadership and governance ineptitude. Governance therefore has become an all comers affair where the qualified and the unqualified, the high and the low as well as the rich and the poor all jostle inordinately for political power. The paper opines that in order to solve the nation’s intractable leadership and governance challenges conclusively, the country needs a true and transparent transformational leadership structure which will drive the political and governmental system in the country for effective and efficient political leadership and governance that will ultimately usher in genuine and verifiable development in the country for the overall benefit of the entire citizenry. The paper further canvasses for an open, accountable, transparent and competitive leadership recruitment process which will give all citizens who genuinely wish to take up political positions the fair and unimpeded chance to do so without any let or hindrance since politics is generally regarded the world over as a call to serve humanity and not an opportunity for self-enrichment as many see it presently in Nigeria”.
Whatever the argument is, the important point is that leadership challenge has been a clog in the wheel of progress in Nigeria. Thus, present and past leaders of Nigeria seem to have failed to provide quality leadership capable of addressing numerous challenges confronting the country”. Nigeria and the Challenges of Leadership in the 21st Century: A Critique by CHRIS. IWEJUO NWAGBOSO and OTU DUKE ; International Journal of Humanities and Social Science Vol. 2 No. 13; July 2012.
The socio-economic and political development of any country depends largely on the ability of its leadership to facilitate, entrench and sustain good governance. Over the years, we have had leaders who, prior to ascending leadership positions, are sold to the masses as beacons of hope amidst the misery viciously staring them in the face. They cream their way into the hearts and minds of unsuspecting masses with their humble disposition, camaraderie, or seeming understanding of the plight and sufferings of the people, only to assume leadership positions and become total strangers and despots, insensitive to the plight of the masses. As one commentator puts it, “Nigerian political leadership is an entangled, mangled and cluttered perplexity of subterfuge machinations and deception. They seem divided along ethnic and religious lines but are eternally united in thievery and corruption; enemies by day and gang of marauding highwaymen at night”.
 According to Valentine Achum: “They sing sonorous and sensuous songs of reforms, only to end up with ‘cacophonous choruses’ of deforms. They serenade the masses with pleasing and teasing tunes of prosperity, only to leave the masses grieving and grinding with elegies of poverty. They fly into office as angels, only to crawl out as demons. They vivaciously jog into office as heroes, only to sluggishly stroll out as villains. For the few with good intentions, they end up being corrupted by the bad ones. They go into office as doctors, and leave as patients’’.
‘Where there is no vision, the people perish’; we certainly need leaders who can translate visions into reality. A leadership that spent so much money in putting up the iconic Trade-Fair Complex in Lagos only to abandon and turn it into a motor spare-part market, can never be a goal oriented leadership, nor can we describe a leadership that watched the deterioration of the Lagos/Ibadan, Sagamu/Benin and other road infrastructure, as a serious leadership. Equally, we cannot vouch for the earnestness of a leadership that allowed the two roads leading into our busiest ports to virtually close down. Leaders that abandon and allow Ajaokuta Complex to waste away are not progressive leaders; the same goes for the leaders that allowed the Aluminum Smelter Complex at Ikot Abasi or the various Steel Rolling Mills to rot. There are over a thousand abandoned projects in Nigeria ranging from the multibillion dollar to multimillion dollar ones. The iniquities of our leaders is not pleasing to the Almighty. Fortunately, we all know the solutions to these problems. They are characterological and behavioral.
Nigeria’s underdevelopment is more of poor implementation than lack of development goals and programmes. Policy summersault and development projects abandonment are common.
Retired AIG Farida Waziri in a seminal lecture, ‘Leadership and the Challenges of Good Governance in Nigeria said “Leadership should be born out of understanding of the needs of those who would be affected by it.” The world over, it is servant leaders that have made the difference in the lives of their people and advanced their governments over time through vigorous and sacrificial pursuit of positive change with great respect for acceptable societal values. Effective and productive leadership must be seen to be transparent and accountable to the citizenry. This increases goodwill amongst the people and the chances of elected leaders succeeding in their endeavors. This also promotes legitimacy, acceptance and most importantly role modeling. Available resources must be properly harnessed and used based on the principles of equity and equality, so that the impact is felt through the rank and file of society. The government must be service oriented and promote effective delivery of public services so as to enhance local and small-scale economic development aimed at improving the lot of the youth and the poor. Information must be made available to the people especially to non state actors for enhanced purposeful engagement with leadership”. Need we say more?
Barka Juma’at and a happy weekend


Babatunde Jose
+2348033110822

Seven Pillars of Wisdom


                          A review by Bayo Ogunmupe
     The Seven Pillars of Wisdom is a paperback christian  theological treatise on wisdom and how to get it. Gaining inspiration from: "Wisdom hath builded her house, she has hewn out her seven pillars,"Proverbs 9:1, the Right Reverend Chris Josephs U Eromosele wove out an inspiring message of hope for mankind. According to Reverend Eromosele, as God's children we have been enabled with a great and stable destiny. We have access to wisdom's pillars for a fulfilling and fruitful life. In this classical monograph on theology, Eromosele reveals how you cannot fail.
     This book is your guarantor of success in whatever vocation you choose to dwell in. Why is wisdom so important in fruitful living? Wisdom is useful in the enhancement of a fulfilling destiny. Among others, wisdom is a defence against failure, Ecc. 7:12. Wisdom is better than strength: Ecc.9:16. Wisdom is better than weapons of war, Ecc.9:18. Wisdom is justified by her children, Matt 11:19. Wisdom is profitable in the service of business, Ecc.10:10. Wisdom is better than rubies, Prov.8:11. Wisdom is the principal thing-Prov4:7. This revelation will culminate in a change of season for you as it did for the author.
     In defining wisdom Eromosele says wisdom is knowing what to do in a situation. It is the 'know how' of any issue. Once you know what to do, success comes to you easily. Failure is the result of not doing well. Success represents a culmination of decisions taken rightly. Taking rightful decisions was the outstanding feature of the greatest wisdom celebrity- Jesus of Nazareth. He is referred to as the wisdom of God. he is wisdom personified. When tou access this wisdom, you won't walk in darkness on any subject. You will intuitively know what to do in any situation. You will become the encyclopedia of your  time- John 1:2.
     The Seven Pillars of Wisdom has 17 chapters, 164 pages and a page of the author's memorabilia. It was published this year by The Secret of Fulfilment Series; printed by the Grace Insight Production, Wuse 11, Abuja Nigeria. The word of God the Bible is wisdom. You can only have access to wisdom through the reading of the word of God. It is impossible for you to have access to wisdom and be tossed around by the currents of life. In another way, wisdom is the proper application of knowledge to life. You are expected to earn God's pleasure as a wise man. Jehovah is always happy with His wise children.
     The following suitably describes His feelings towards you: You are a city set on a hill. You are the light of the world. You are the salt of the earth. You are a chosen generation. You are the apple of God's eyes. You are the master of signs and wonders. You are kings and priests unto God. The wisdom of God is supreme, when you build a house with it, it becomes your home. Access to God's wisdom is available to His elect: "I will give you a mouth and a wisdom which all your adversaries shall not be able to gainsay and resist," Luke 21:15.
     In concluding chapter two of part one on the power of vision, the author enjoins you that in order to succeed in life, you must draw up a plan with the utmost clarity. Architects will tell you that before any building is erected, its plan must be settled; an exact replica of the proposed structure is built such that a visitor can easily predict the outcome of the building. Which is why success isn't a try your luck creature. Success isn't an accident, it is a result of planning. Hence a vision of your greatness must first be hewn. "And the Lord said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do, and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do," Gen. 11:6.
     Joseph is Eromosele's example of the visionary whose vision was fulfilled in prison after interpreting the Pharaoh's dream. Wherefore, Joseph was made prime minister of Egypt where his family members came to worship him  for food and protection. God loves you when you are not just a hearer, but a doer walking in the integrity of God's word. The qualities you need for fulfilment are: "And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, and to virtue knowledge: and to knowledge temperance: and to temperance patience: and to patience godliness and to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness charity. for if these things abound, they make you, that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged, of his old sins."
       "Wherefore, rather brethren, give diligence to make your calling, for if ye do these things ye shall never fail,"Gen 11, 1:5, 10. And finally to achieve your goals, you need such pillars as diligence, faith, knowledge and love. The author, the Right Reverend Chris Eromosele is the president of The Pinnacle of Grace Incorporated. He is the author of several books. He has been presiding over the anointed ministry for over 20 years: a minister of the gospel and inspirational speaker. His church is in Wuse 11, Abuja, Nigeria. From the foregoing you will realize that The Seven Pillars of Wisdom is a must read for your success and fulfilment.

Identifying the character traits of fraudsters


                    By Bayo Ogunmupe
     Since being defrauded twice over my efforts to build a website and sundry activities, I have assembled a list of the character traits of fraudsters. And absolutely, I don't tolerate any of these traits for any reason. The moment I spot any of these traits, I immediately start playing my cards defensibly- making it a point to keep such a person far, far away from whatever I do. One, People who ask for something before first offering to help you in some way. Every great connection I have had in business and career has manifested away from this way of being. Once a person is asking for remuneration without work, steer clear of him. There isn't a single person from my network of helpers who doesn't operate from my philosophy of offering work first before remuneration.
     In fact I wrote for The Guardian for more than a year before being paid for my columns. The joy is in seeing my name in print, not the money accruing from it. The second character trait of fraudsters is that, they don't always give you the full story. They won't give you the accurate particulars of their background or the extent of their skills. If you listen closely, which you must, you can tell when a person is purposefully withholding details of certain situations. And if you watch long enough, you will start to realize why: they have things they want to hide. These aren't the people you want to trust.
     Three, people who steal; I once had a great friend at Ijegun,a suburb of Lagos. I thought he adored me for my creative problem solving proclivities. Until I paid him a surprise visit one evening only to find my long missing stapler, books and a mouse of my desktop computer. He had been hindering me rather than being a loyal and faithful friend. I even saw more. I immediately cut off the relationship. No questions asked. As a writer, there are few things in life more infuriating than seeing someone put their name on your work.
     Four: People who get jealous of your success. As you continue to grow, especially if you begin to achieve fame and recognition, you will start to see the true colour of those you hang out with. In each chapter of my life, I have made and lost friends. The ones I have lost, suddenly felt threatened by the things I was achieving, no matter how much I encouraged by my generosity. A foe argued himself hoarse over the veracity of my being a published author. It was not until I showed him a copy and googled it through an ipad that he believed. He never showed up again at our usual cafe. The friends that I have kept and there are many of them; are those who are happy with the trail blazing lifestyle we are pursuing.
     A few weeks ago, I got a call from a reader of my blog in Italy. He is teaching economics there and was seeking a clarification over Nigeria's economic and growth plan. I obliged him with the information he asked for. He is happy that we're able to be of service to Nigerians in the diaspora. That is a real friend. Finally, people who blame others for their lack of success or happiness belong to that class of people likely to hinder you in life. They hate successful people around them. If there is one thing I pay attention to in others, it is how they talk about their lives. That their current situation is the result of someone else, that is a red flag. If they blame other people for their shortcomings, that's a red flag.
     If they struggle to admit their own faults that's a red flag. These people are leeches. The happier you become the more they prey on you. The more successful you become, the more jealous they will feel. They live in a constant state of playing victim. Life is happening to them and there is nothing they can do about it; which makes it the fault of others. I have learned the hard way not to allow these kinds of people into my life. You should do the same, you should avoid them like the plague. But once you know what to look for, it becomes apparent who is worth your time and who isn't. Never allow fraudsters infect you with their belief in destiny. The truth is that anyone can make it in life. That's why God granted you free will.

What kind of steward are you?


                    By Bayo Ogunmupe
     On Armistice Day last week, I worshiped at the Latter Rain Assembly, Dr Tunde Bakare's end time church at Ogba, Ikeja, Lagos state. It was a mind opening experience. I don't attend church often, but I had to hearken to my friend, the editor's editor Dr Paul Onomuakpokpo. I wanted to know whatever could raise the fancy of a doctor of philosophy and observer of the vagaries of Nigerian politics in any church in Nigeria. I got a surprise package from the Latter Rain Assembly. The vision of the church is to raise a people of integrity, purpose and excellence with a passion for Jesus and addiction for Jehovah's kingdom.
     The purpose of the steward and stewardess of the church Pastor Tunde and Layide Bakare is to glorify God by making fruitful disciples who reverence and exalt God, edify other believers, evangelize their primary domain of influence and extend disciple making to all the world as the Lord of harvest enables them. before I entered into the church I heard loudspeakers blaring out the preachment of a female evangelist, passionate about her subject. Like many churches of my experience, seats have been captured. Two places I tried  to seat had already been reserved for family members. However, it took an usher no time to seat me behind the television crew, a most appropriate place for a dispenser of news.
     Just a minute past 11a.m appeared the robust and gleaming Pastor Bakare in festive mood storming with a dance. The crowd of thousands of worshipers exploded in hymns of praise to God and God's mercy as the chief steward clocked 61. The Latter Rain Church was 29 on November 11 if I heard Bakare right. In a sermon laced with hymns, local and classical music, the chief steward made: 'What kind of steward are you?' his theme. We weren't dancing like that in my freshman year in 1968 when I was baptized at Oritamefa Baptist Church, Ibadan. Which was why last Sunday service made interesting encounter.
     Gleaming in a dark blue agbada, Bakare , on the podium defined steward as one; he or she who manages the property or finance of another; and such properties could be houses and estates, land, church or children. Two, a steward is one who administers anything as the agent of another or others. Three, one who has charge of the household of another buying, obtaining food and directing the servants. Four, a steward is an employee who has charge of table, wine and servants in a club or restaurant.
     Five, one who attends to the domestic concerns of persons on board vessels, ships, airplanes, the train, who is responsible for the comfort of passengers. Six, a person appointed by an organization or group to supervise the affairs of that group. Seven, a steward is an officer in charge of food, housing quarters and mess of members of the armed forces. A stewardess is a woman who works as a steward on a plane, ship or train. But one distinctive factor is that a steward isn't an owner. He is only an overseer. But a steward can become the heir of his charge, like Joseph became prime minister in Egypt. The personal qualities of a steward are that he must be faithful and loyal to his master; he must also be blameless.
     My example of a good wife and steward is the woman of Shunem. Elisha went to Shunem, where there was a notable woman who persuaded Elisha to eat some food. So it was, as often as Elisha passed by, he would turn in there to eat some food. And the woman told her husband..,"Let us make him a small room and let us put a bed for him there, and a table and a chair and a lamp stand, 2Kings 4:8.  Observe that, one, whatever you need more of, make room for it. You don't get what you want in life, you get what you prepare or work for. This woman's generosity resulted in her having a child when she wasn't able to, and her child later being raised from the dead when sickness claimed him.
     When you make room for God in your life, you make room for the blessings that follow Him. Second, notice the four things she put in the prophet's room; a bed, meaning there are times when you must run, times you must rest. Indeed, if you don't learn to rest, you will break down. A table, this means, spiritual food to nourish your soul. If you plan to give out, you must plan taking in too. The chair speaks of study: Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth should not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. And a lamp shows illumination. Even after you have studied long and hard, you need the holy spirit to reveal the truth to you. And that is how to be a good steward of God's estate, the church. In attending the Latter Rain Assembly I can breathe the wisdom imparted therein and the reason we all should contribute to building The Citadel, the church of the world to come.

Setting ethical boundaries is healthy


                    By Bayo Ogunmupe
    If you are like me, you don't like to upset anyone. In fact harmony is more important to you than ruffling feathers. However, you wake up sometimes and you think to yourself, "I'm always giving in  and people just keep taking from me. I'm tired of this and ready to hide from the world." I felt this way for years. Then, i decided I needed to examine why I was allowing others to take advantage of me; take me for granted, and just keep taking from me altogether.
    And this is what I have learned: Pleasing everyone around you doesn't make them happy. Indeed, it makes them even more greedy in their need to be satisfied with whatever it is they want from you. You give them an inch, they take a mile. You give them a mile, they want 100 miles. It is a cycle of self sabotage that leads you further away from your own self love. Sure, I know, you are going to make up an excuse such as 'but my family needs me to do this." Putting others before yourself make things worse for you and others. This is because you set unrealistic expectations towards others when you put them before yourself. This leads to disrespect because they know they can turn to you at any time for any preferment. Then you don't know you have become their mat until you get all the mud and pee from dogs passing by while on their walk.
    Being the person who saves the day for everyone drains your energy and makes you a cranky soul no one is willing to be around of. But you are a human being. You are not a robot. And you are not a superman. If you are agreeing to a lot of request from others, you are draining your energy reserve. You are not preserving enough energy to take care of yourself. And when you are not taking proper care of yourself, the vampires keep sucking your energy from you. Not all vampires are as enjoyable to be with as Count Dracula on Sesame street.
    Most people don't realise their requests are being multiplied by people on a daily basis. When they don't realise you need sleep more than ever before. So, what can you do to turn your life around. Before you respond to an email, to someone in person; or over the phone, tell them you will get back to them soon because you need to check your schedule.  And then you need to ask yourself, "Do I really want to do this for this person, can I vouch for his honesty? Or am I just wanting to say yes so that I don't upset him. Understand that no matter how much you please others, you are never going to be able to make everyone happy. I meant just that last night when I blocked a negative asshole on social media because he decided  to spam my social media page with rude comments and gestures.
    So I put my foot down on social media, warning everyone that I will block anyone who comes onto my page and spam it with rudeness and negativity. Why try pleasing people who cannot understand that it's actually a good thing to have healthy boundaries in life. I am here to help you nourish your gifts. You can't please everyone. And you shouldn't want to please everybody. Own yourself, you are responsible for your own greatness. You deserve self respect and you reserve to yourself the ability to maintain your own power. Which brings me to the point that you can't pour from an empty cup. If you are spending your time each day helping others, you won't have anytime for yourself to refuel your own energy. After a while this will lead to your own wreck.
    What to do next is for you to pace yourself. Utilize the calendar on your phone, by spacing out your task each day. For example, I perform my mastering my mindset journaling everyday by allotting to myself fifteen minutes each day to do it. Then, I respond one hour to my emails, two hours for blogging and 30 minutes for sundry browsing. When you space yourself and spread yourself out on the calendar, you are not only likely to stick to completing them, but you are also more confident in replying out of boundary requests  saying : "Let me check my schedule and i will get back to you soon."
    Then, you consult your calendar to decide, one, whether you actually have the time to help. You cannot just say yes not to upset others. Two, you ask yourself where to figure out the day to sacrifice to help, because you actually wish to help her. Before 2015, I had no clue what it meant to have healthy boundaries in place for myself. Then, I woke up one Saturday completely drained and being plainly irritable after a week long presidential campaign. Besides, I had a health scare and was ordered by my doctor for a bed rest. I'm happy to say that my blood pressure is in good condition, thanks to my setting healthy boundaries. Then, I trimmed up taking back my own power by putting my self love and care first. No jogging was required.
    When you live by your ethical boundaries you have put into place, you start to attain calmness, happiness and a state of physical well- being of your dreams. Setting boundaries restores your mindfulness: your state of well being, self possession and peace. Then, you become  a very productive person, making good use of your time. And indeed, working is the only way by which you can achieve your goals. The goal of productivity is to get the most results in the least amount of time. Setting boundaries helps you achieve that.

A CREED TO LIVE BY

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us are special. Don'...