By Bayo Ogunmupe
Life has no instruction manual, which is why most of us fumble
through life's vicissitudes, learning as we get along. However, in
today's world where technology enables us to source information via the
crowd, it is possible to glean the most important life's skills from an
array of people and sources in one go. This is why it is pertinent to
pose the question: What are the most useful skills to learn? Here are
the most difficult but useful skills to learn. You can be the most
brilliant and even wealthy person in the world, but if you don't care
for or empathize with other people, then you basically are nothing but a
misfit. That is why learning empathy is very important.
Empathy is a fundamental human ability that has been too readily
forsworn by modern business. Empathy: the ability to feel what others
feel- is what makes good sales people great. Empathy as in team spirit-
esprit de corps-motivates people to try harder. Empathy drives employees
to push beyond their own apathy. The skill of mastering your sleep
comes after empathy. The harm that befalls you as a result of sleep
deprivation is far reaching and more detrimental to your general health
and well-being. Thus it is worthwhile for you to establish a general
sleep routine and stick to it to make sure you get enough sleep. Optimum
performance will elude you without sufficient sleep.
Time management comes next. Without a properly managed time, your
success at the workplace will be elusive. Success at your personal goals
is doubly at risk also for you cannot meet your personal goals or
finish your work on time. Effective time management helps you get things
done on time. Asking for help is yet another skill. It is hard to ask
for help because you don't want to appear incompetent. But consider
what might happen if you don't recognise that you need help and don't
ask for it. You can really end up in a big mess. But asking for help
doesn't mean you are weak. On the contrary the managers I have admired
most in my career were those who openly owned up that they didn't
understand the procedure, and asked for help because they didn't how to
proceed themselves.
A recent study from the Harvard School of Business suggests that
asking for advice is actually well received and makes you look more, not
less, capable. By asking for advice, you acknowledge the other person's
intelligence or expertise, which makes them feel good. Good outcomes
raise the self esteem of both persons. This improves the impact of
positive self talk, building self confidence and a positive self image
while negative self talk will do the opposite. In the words of the great
American automaker Henry Ford: Whether you think you can, or you think
you can't, you're right.
A skill in consistency also comes handy. Whether you are trying to
imbibe a new routine, studying for your doctorate at home on part-time
or working on an important project, consistency is vital to your
success. People often stop working hard when they reach the top, but so
many maintain that top position by working harder and being more
consistent in their work. The next skill you must master is minding your
own business. If no one has asked for your advice, it is probably
unwanted and wise for you to keep it to yourself. Besides it is
impossible to ever know the whole story. It is so easy to assume you
understand the situation, when in fact you don't have all the facts. If
something doesn't affect you directly, best stay out of it.
Listening is a skill you must cultivate ardently. Most of us are
overwhelmed in the workplace with things to do. With instant messaging,
phoning to bother us; our brain can only tolerate so much information
before it snaps. However, a tip of active listening is to repeat what
you last heard to the other person. It makes things so much easier when
everyone is on the same page. Knowing when to shut up and actually doing
it is the line of decorum. Keeping your thoughts to yourself when
agitated is the most valuable skill you must learn. Always avoid gossip.
The most important thing about building and keeping good relationships
is trust. Sadly, the easiest ways to lose trust is to gossip about
people behind their back.
Finally, speaking up is the last of the necessary skills that will
serve you forever. If you want to have impact on life, your community or
the pubic in general, you must learn to speak up in public. If you find
this worrisome, with a coach and practice you can overcome it. The
world's greatest investor, Warren Buffett of the USA, said this about
public speaking: "You've got to be able to communicate in life and it is
enormously important. If you can't communicate and talk to other people
and get your ideas across, you're giving up your potential." The best
in public speaking is practising radical candor. Radical candor is
humble, helpful, immediate, in person and it doesn't personalize.
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