Be careful what you do.

     By Bayo Ogunmupe

     On a windy day in March 1997, a father and son visited Valley Forge National Historic Park, United States where America's first President, George Washington stationed the Revolutionary Army during the winter of 1777-1778 in the American Revolutionary war. The father and son had something less historic  in mind. They wanted to launch a model rocket. At first they tried using electric ignition wires to light the fuse, but to no avail. So they tried lighting the fuse with a sparkler. That was how trouble started. Sparks ignited grass fire and the winds quickly spread the blaze, burning the field where Revolutionary War soldiers had trained. The fires came within half a mile of George Washington's headquarters.

     The value of what was put at risk was incalculable. It took thirty units from twelve fire service departments over an hour to bring the blaze under control. In the end over thirty acres were charred, and the man with the sparkler was charged with destruction of government property and improper use of fireworks. The Bible says, "Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body,"James 3:5-6. "Set a guard O Lord, over my mouth; keep...the door of my lips," Psalm 141:3. "He who would love life and see good  days, let him refrain his tongue from evil," Peter 3:10. The lips of the godly speak helpful words; Proverbs 10:21. Thus, you must make sure what you do and say help, not hurt, build up, not tear down. In words be careful what you say.

     By the same token, take responsibility for your life, stop blaming others for the woes created by your mistakes. "The man said, the woman gave me fruit and I ate it." Genesis 3:12. The biblical story of Adam and Eve's failure in the Garden of Eden teaches us two important lessons about God. One, God won't accept your excuses. Two, He won't let you blame other people. God insists that you take responsibility for yourself. And until you do, he cannot bless you like He desires. That means you must make a choice to stop living in the dumpster of past mistakes: your own mistakes, mistakes made through bad advice and the mistakes of others.

     Therefore, you must focus on where you are going rather than having your eyes glued to the rear mirror, looking back at what was done and who did it. It's time you take back your power by declaring time out when it comes to blaming; defining what success would look like and specifying what you would want to see happen. Also, in the course of realizing your ambition, you delegate who'll do what in order to make it happen and rewarding the people who help you towards a brighter future. You must realize that deliverable goals are goals that are attainable. And relationships in trouble need good news, so develop achievable goals that give everyone something to celebrate. It doesn't have to be ultimate goal that will win the war; but those successes that indicate you're winning the battles.

     Your game plan gives power back to you who needs to see progress. It distracts you from blame fixing and guides your productivity. It takes the power from dwelling in the past which we have no power to undo what had been done no matter who is to blame. And we must engage in constructive efforts as opposed to destructive ones. Indeed, the past is where you learned the lesson. The future is where you will apply the lesson; so don't give up in the middle.