Tackling beliefs that hold you back

                          By Bayo Ogunmupe

    It is impossible for you to get rid of all your negative thoughts and feelings. You can only change your response to them. During a recent research in the Caribbean, a marine biologist placed a big shark into a holding tank. Then, she released several bait fish into the tank with it. Expectedly, the shark quickly darted  around the tank, attacking and eating up the bait fish. The following day, the biologist inserted a strong piece of transparent fiberglass into the tank, partitioning it into two. She then put the shark on one side of the fiberglass and a new set of bait fish on the other.

    Again, the shark was on the attack. But this time the shark slammed into the fiberglass divider and bounced off. Undeterred, the shark kept repeating this behaviour every few minutes to no avail. Meanwhile the fish swam around unharmed in the second partition. Eventually, hours later, the shark gave up the chase. This experiment was repeated a dozen times over the next few weeks. Each time the shark got less aggressive, making fewer and fewer attacks at the bait fish, until eventually, the shark got tired of hitting the fiberglass divider. Thereafter, it stopped attacking altogether.

    The biologist then removed the fiberglass divider, but the shark refused to attack. The shark had been trained by its experience to believe a barrier existed between it and the bait fish; so the fish swam wherever they wished, free from harm. Like the shark, many of us, after experiencing setbacks and failures give up and stop trying. Like the shark in this story, we often believe that because we were unsuccessful in the past, we will always fail. Thus, we continue to see barriers in our heads, even when no real barriers exist between where we are and where we want to go. Let this be your wake up call.

    We all are imbued with incredible power by God inside us. But we also have our fiberglass dividers- self limiting  thoughts and beliefs that hold us back. Sometimes it a childhood experience or previous failure. Indeed, it might be something we were told when we were younger. Other times, it is just a lack of self confidence that gradually sneaks upon us over the years. In any case, here is what you need to know and remember.

    One, much of what you believe about your failures and limitations are bunkum. Sadly, we encounter insignificant rejections that drastically altered our mindset for years to come. We should never allow bad experience deter us from pursuing our goal. Once you identify specks of a self- limiting toxic belief, you should start attacking it.You start taking steps forward daily that counter the specks. Tiny victories garner more confidence, gradual momentum; bigger victories, greater confidence, until your thoughts and reality change for good.

    Two, your brain inaccurately matches patterns from the past with the present, which has given you many false beliefs and excuses. All too often you let past rejections dictate every move you make. This is a common damaging thought pattern human beings succumb to. You under-value yourself by believing some opinionated fanatic who once said you are a second rate brain. That made you look around thinking things will never work out in your favour.

      Update your belief system based on how your circumstances have changed. You must practice thinking better about the past and present, so you can ultimately live better fro now on. Three, feeling stuck and incapable is just a feeling, not a fact. Just because someone can do it  does mean you can do it also. You can only be prevented by negative thinking, not any intrinsic human weakness. It is easy to find excuses, but other people who also have considerable obstacles and who have done it anyway.

    Feeling incapable is only a feeling, not a fact. So never assume you are stuck with the way things are. Life changes every second so can you. It is never too late to live a life that makes you proud. Learn this, that there is no age limit on changing your goal. This is because goals don't make positive changes happen, only rituals do. So map out actions you can take to create change. And be specific on what you can do.